The good relationships we build in life provide the support we need to live happily and successfully. As with many women, the most important relationship I forged is with my mother. I never think about losing her, as I would prefer to remain in the moment and make the most of the time we have together. However, losing a mother can prove to be the one loss you can’t get over. That is why it is so important that we take the time we have now to appreciate the loving relationships we share.

More Time With Your Best Friend

I think if we look too closely at our lives and how we manage our relationships, we might find we cringe a little. How many times are we too busy to meet for lunch? How many emails do we forget to write just to say hello? When was the last time we sent out an invite for a nice family dinner? It is often the things we don’t do that add up to unthinkable pain and guilt when we lose our mothers.

Mother-Daughter Best Friends

Now with a daughter of my own, I also find it easier to see how rotten I had been. My daughter is good and responsible for the most part. I was not. I caused my mother many nights of worry and grief because of a wild streak that peaked by the time I was 16. At that point, our relationship had become so rocky I decided to move out. I lived on my own for three years and during that time something remarkable occurred. My mother and I went from screaming banshees to true best friends.

I was determined to avoid the horrible fighting phase with my daughter and, for the most part, I have. But we are in a different time where we should feel comfortable discussing just about anything from sex to fashion and everything in between. At the time I was a teenager and being brought up in a wayward, but still Catholic, family, we really didn’t discuss the hard stuff. This is one of the reasons I feel my mother and I fell so far apart. I really didn’t have anyone I trusted to share my teen angst-driven feelings with.

However, out of it all, grew a beautiful relationship built on mutual respect and love. We actually like each other and enjoy each other’s company. When we are together, it’s time filled with a lot of laughter, and sometimes tears, but always meaningful, wonderful, and above all else, non-judgmental and comfortable.

Nurturing The Best Friend Relationship

I fear had I not been so stubborn and headstrong and left home at such a young age our relationship would have disintegrated in a heap of resentment and bitterness. By leaving home I think it allowed my mother to see me as independent and responsible, and more than capable of making decisions. Although many of them turned out to be wrong. She became more comfortable really talking with me instead of at me, a common mistake we mothers make, I think. Because of this, I was able to model my own mothering on the strength of our relationship while avoiding the folly of trying to control another human being – even if that human being was my own child.

So, ladies, this is your wake-up call. Regardless of how good a relationship you have with your mom, let’s always believe it could be better. Let’s make a true effort to never let a moment slip by when we don’t cherish our moms and spend as much time as we can with them, so we don’t live with regrets when they are gone.