Is talking to your children at the top of your to-do list every day? If not, then maybe it should be.

Sometimes, we parents get swept away in the stress and busy-ness of everyday life. After all, adulting can be hard. We have to pay the bills, go to work, finish the housework, run errands, cook meals, take the kids to practice … on and on it goes. Much like our own children, we also spend an inordinate amount of time staring at our cell phones. In the midst of all this day-to-day humdrum, our children grow up without the undivided attention they need. Many of us forget the earth-shattering importance of pausing and talking to our children every single day.

Three Steps To Talking To Children

1. Find the time. Yes, you’re busy. But so is everyone. Most parents are busy – really busy – trying to provide for their children or make their home the best it can be. Move past that excuse and find the time to be with each of your kids, one-on-one, every day. Maybe it’s after dinner or before bed. Perhaps it’s on the drive to soccer practice or on the morning drive to school. It doesn’t matter when. Just find even five minutes of undivided time.
2. Instead of spending that time lecturing them, tell them what they need to hear.
3. Be quiet and just listen.

7 Things Every Child Needs To Hear

Every child, from newborns to teenagers, needs to hear these seven statements over and over again:

1. “I love you.” If a child doesn’t feel loved, he could question his worth well into adulthood. And that can lead to a slew of self-destructive behaviors.
2. “I’m proud of you.” Telling your child you’re proud of her even when she makes mistakes will help her understand that she is inherently valuable.
3. “You’re a good person.” When you see the good in your children, they will see the good in themselves and rise to the expectations of being “good” in this world.
4. “I will never judge you.” A parent’s job is to love their children unconditionally. You may disagree with their choices or think their values don’t align with yours, but your role is to guide and love them, not judge them.
5. “You can get through any problem.” Telling your child this will help them to understand that challenges are an inevitable part of life, but they have the resilience and problem-solving skills to get through anything.
6. “I’m sorry.” Every parent makes mistakes. Sometimes, we have a bad day and we snap or yell at our kids. For parents who have struggled with addiction or who have been abusive in the past, saying “I’m sorry” can make a huge difference to a child. When we say “I’m sorry” after making mistakes, it role models owning and learning from our mistakes.
7. “I’m listening.” Kids are lectured every day by their teachers, coaches, and parents. But they need to express themselves and feel heard. Listening actively can go a long way in helping a child feel valued and respected.

The Key To Healthy, Happy Children?

The key to raising healthy, happy children could be simpler than we think. Maybe if we spend less time being busybodies and more time talking to children, they will grow into well-adjusted, confident adults. (1)