An hour outside of Guangzhou, southeastern China, seven girlfriends generated North American headlines in the summer of 2019 over the purchase and renovation of a 7535-square-foot home, which they plan to share for the rest of their lives. These seven long-time girlfriends pooled their funds to create a dream home suited for group hangs, family-style dinners, and out of doors excursions. The group of women consider themselves a ‘chosen family’ and plan to live communally, contributing their unique talents to a shared life with one another. (1)

At home in America, this story brings to mind positive feelings of female empowerment and appears like an incredibly trendy way to age in style. Maybe a little reminiscent of the early 2000’s Ya-Ya Sisterhood? However, across the pacific, this living arrangement may be seen as less hip through the looking glass of  Chinese culture. After all, Yin-yang or the classic contrast of hot-cold, soft-hard, and female-male is a mainstay of Chinese living. Yin-yin relationships have only recently evolved in China into a form of friendship that reflects emotional and spiritual closeness between women.

Women In Traditional China

Historically, Chinese culture has been patriarchal and family lineage was passed from father to son. Women were often cloistered together physically to fulfill household chores but remained emotionally distant from each other. Instead, women would wage war on one another through gossip, scheming, and manipulation of their husbands or other women. These wars between women were rooted in rivalries of legacy, with wives of the same man vying to have their sons take over power in the family. Close relationships between women were scarce outside of granddaughter-grandmother dyads. (2)

Be Married Or Mocked

Globally, China has become an economic modern superpower and women have more freedoms than ever before, but the country remains tied to patriarchal values of the past. A study of unmarried or divorced women in China found these women were often mocked and ridiculed in mainstream media. Government, media, and families deem single Chinese women as ‘too picky’ and shengu or ‘leftovers’, as a sign of stigma for their unmarried status. Even interracial marriages, though becoming more commonplace, can prompt social discord and marginalization of Chinese women. (3)

Change Is Coming?

The above news story of seven women living progressively and without men certainly speaks to a ripple that could be creating a wave of change in China. In some urban centres, friendships and dating have already become ‘Westernized’ and less weight is being assigned to marriage. Furthermore, as children of the one-child policy grow and become a larger part of Chinese society, experts wonder if these only children will seek more friendships outside the family and attempt to grow their circle socially. A hybrid culture, which embraces some Western and Chinese values, may arise in the future. (3)

For Western women, good girlfriends are a ubiquitous part of our society and we enjoy the benefits of these relationships. In years to come, Chinese women will hopefully also see some of the benefits of good friends through time spent together. And perhaps Western cultures will adopt more supportive family units as the boomers hit their golden years.