Let’s face it, we all have things we don’t like about ourselves. Maybe you think you talk too much, your interests are nerdy, or you have a weird obsession with organization or cleanliness. Certainly, with time, we can grow to love our own quirks and embrace them as our strengths. However, is it true another person can love them? I mean really love them? I am no love guru but defer to the power of research for input on this longstanding relationship question.

Who Is The Right One?

When it comes to relationships, and successful ones at that, stable communication reigns supreme. Destructive communication patterns, no matter your likes, dislikes, or attributes, will eventually erode any relationship. The right one will always make an effort to discuss and share with you. Pay special attention to the communication patterns of your loved one, and decide if they are beneficial to the both of you? Do you know one another’s needs? Do you feel comfortable talking all the time and on all topics? If yes, your partner may very well be the right one. If not, consider means of correcting how you communicate via counseling or therapy, and before you make a long-term commitment to one another.

Always Forgives

Forgiveness and avoidance of blaming your partner for personal transgressions is another significant factor in maintaining long term relationships. It seems so obvious, but if you have ever been in a long-term relationship then you know how much two people can drive each other crazy! If a partner is unable to manage a negative experience (aka. take responsibility) or builds a poor perception of their partner after such an experience, the relationship will have difficulty growing in the future. The right one, for anybody, will find a way to bestow grace and empathy during each of their partner’s ups and downs.

Optimism Is Relationship Fuel

A happier relationship is seen when each partner has a positive outlook about the other person. Even if a person has low self-esteem and does not view themselves in high regard, working to cultivate a positive view of their partner will enhance the relationship. Does this mean your significant other has to love each of your traits desperately? No, but your partner should have a ‘bigger picture’ perspective of you as kind, good, smart, and more. A wonderful partner acknowledges your downsides, but accepts them, does not hold large stock in your weaknesses, and looks to see you as a whole person. Kernels of truth, which show individual value and an optimistic outlook, will be more valuable to the right one for you.

It is definitely okay for people in an intimate relationship to not always have something kind and specifically positive to say to or about one another. However, the right one should exemplify thoughts and feelings that they believe you are a great person over time. The sentiment, “I love you, but right now I just don’t like you” may be applicable on some days for even the strongest couples. The right one doesn’t need to be perfect, but love you as you are and you them. (1)