I am highly suspicious of the word “always” when applied to people’s behavior. How many times have you found yourself saying “You always do this” when arguing with your partner (or kids for that matter)? It’s one of those broad statements that exaggerate a situation, but it is also what I feel is a common perception. So I feel to say strong women “always” fall for emotionally unavailable men is a bit presumptuous. In fact, it might be something not so strong women like to tell themselves if they find they’re “always” falling for the wrong guy. So what’s this emotionally unavailable man all about and why are “strong” women always falling for them? (1)

Strong Women And Unavailable Men

Independent, strong women apparently are very confident. So does it really make sense that such an Amazon of a female who holds her head high and remains poised no matter what would fall for an emotionally unavailable man? Well let’s see what makes a man emotionally unavailable:

• They can be situationally unavailable, so married, in a relationship or just not willing to commit
• They can be emotionally unavailable, so flawed or broken in some way

In other words, they pose a challenge, right? Hmmm. A challenge? Wait, wouldn’t a strong woman be attracted to a challenge? Perhaps.

Strong Women Love A Challenge

So strong women spot a guy who appears intelligent, awfully dashing, of course sexy, yet slightly aloof, a little removed, or somehow in need of repairs. Doesn’t it make sense this unavailable man poses a challenge? Wouldn’t this strong woman feel even better about herself if she could somehow dominate this guy? Or maybe it’s not so selfish. Maybe, just maybe she thinks she can fix him! Yes, that must be it. She sees the challenge presented by this poor broken or neglected man and knows she can make him better. She can repair his heart, bring back his feelings (outdo his current partner with more love, sex, and understanding) and even get him to cast aside his commitment aversions to be with her! You never know, that could be it.

Strong Women Cling to Success

Next, strong women are successful right? Yep, that seems right. So, if a woman is very successful, enjoying her career, always going for what she wants, a gung-ho gal set in her ways and killing it in every area, would she necessarily want an Alpha male who’s doing the same? Wouldn’t that kind of infringe on her success — kind of take away her glory and throw in a little too much manly dominance into her life? Sure, she might see it that way.

Strong Women And Independence

And how about that independence? If a strong woman sees an emotionally available man, won’t he pose a threat to her independence? Won’t he want to get married, or at least move in with her since she’s so wonderful and strong and beautiful and smart? Wouldn’t he start to edge his way in and try to make decisions either with her or for her? Like, share stuff with her? Yep, I think he just might.

So if strong women ALWAYS fall for emotionally unavailable men, it’s probably because their independence and success make them want to take on challenges and not give up their independence. Mystery solved.