A quote by Jackson Kiddard reads, “Anything you can’t control is teaching you how to let go.” (1) Of course, this is much easier said than done. When something in our life is affecting our mood, relationships and overall quality of life, it is hard to just “let go”. However, we need to make a clear distinction between what we can control and what we cannot control. Once we separate the two, we then have a starting point on how to reduce unnecessary conflict in our lives.
Control Vs. No Control
Can you control the weather? Not unless you have weather warrior superpowers! You start a new job and one employee just doesn’t take to you too well. Is that in your control? No, because how others feel about you is not for you to decide. Unfortunate accidents, illness, and the way people perceive us are some things we do not always have control over. However, you may now be thinking, what do we have control over?
While we may not have full control over all of these things, we certainly can have a huge impact on the outcomes. You want a better figure and to feel better about yourself. Can you control your own body? Yes! Well, to some extent. You can do the work of exercising regularly, adopting healthier eating habits, and making overall healthier choices. You are not happy in your career, make a change. Go back to school, apply to other jobs, network. If you want a healthier relationship, then move on from the one you’re in that’s holding you back.
There are many ways in which we can make positive choices that affect the outcome of the life we live. We can’t control it completely, but we can certainly put in the effort and accept the results knowing we participated in the outcome. If you are not sure how to make these changes, you can watch positive motivation videos on YouTube, purchase or rent a self-help book, or even speak with a professional on how to live in the moment and let go of control.
Effects of Stress on the Body and Mind
Consistent worrying about things we simply have no control over can do us no good. It will not change the situation or the outcome. What daily stress will do, however, is keep us frozen. We will feel stuck, angry and resentful. Daily stress can compromise our immune system, lead to depression/anxiety, heart conditions, and much more. All for the fact of worrying about something you may not have total control over. (2)
How to Let Go and Focus on Yourself
The past is just that, the past. You can influence better decisions in your life right at this very moment, an hour from now, and every second thereafter. But, worrying about the past is not going to change your future. Switch from stress to solution. Use the hours you used to waste on worrying by being proactive. You can’t get well in your own mind let alone be helpful to others if you are stuck on things that are time traps. Use your time and your life to make a difference. The only thing you can really control is your own agency. Practice honing your responses so instead of reacting, you instead have a calculated reply.
