I’m closing in on 30 and I can say that I have seen my fair share of relationships (the good, the bad, and the ugly). I definitely do not consider myself a relationship expert, like the trademarked Rachel Hollis, but I know enough to say that good relationships are built on two people knowing what they want out of life and from each other. Sure, most of us don’t want our partners waiting on us hand and foot, but we do usually want something from them. For example, maybe you need a shoulder to cry on after a terrible day, a buddy for date night, or someone who just gets how difficult your mother can be. I personally love a good present and help doing household chores.
Beyond determining what we want and communicating those wants to our significant other, which can be a very difficult task all on its own, how do we find someone that will consistently deliver? Who will meet us with what we want today and 40 years from now? With the hopes of spreading some good relationship vibes, I want to share how waiting for a partner can bring more happiness to your life and relationship long term.
A Tale Of Caution…
Looking around my circle of friends and family, I know very few women who are actually getting what they want from their relationships. Everything seems to be a negotiation on their initial terms of happiness and freedom. It’s frustrating to watch and worse yet, seems to be a never-ending cycle of martyrdom. I am sure these ladies, if they ever choose too, could find more joy from their relationships via communication and boundary setting with their partners. But this is a hard road and old habits can be difficult to break. So best to start off your relationships right!
Hang In There – For You!
Speaking from experience, the best way to find an amazing partner is not settling and delaying a relationship until you find someone that is willing to meet your desires. Easier said than done, right? How can I be so sure you will find the right person? Single forever!!! But really…
When I say wait it out for the right guy or gal, I don’t really mean begin an endless quest to find the ‘perfect person’ or sit at home until they ring your doorbell. Absolutely not. Instead, I am saying that being self-aware and embracing personal growth with effective communication can invite the right type of people into your life.
Don’t look for a relationship. Look for the things you want from a relationship while being clear with others about what you want, and making an ongoing effort to understand who you are (both inside and out of the relationship). Ruling people out as potential partners will suddenly become a lot easier! Additionally, becoming who you want to be and deciding how you want to be treated is fundamental in getting the ideal person to notice you.
Get Started With Self-Discovery
Getting in touch with your (future) relationships starts with you! The best advice I ever received from other single girlfriends is to take a love language or personality quiz, learn a new skill, and write out my goals. (1) Once you’re excited and interested in what you are doing, the person you want will begin paying attention. Personally, I ended up having a long-term relationship with a man I met while doing a pageant. Sounds strange, but it was something I was passionate about and he was super impressed when I took the crown!
Truly, I understand how easy it is to say, “All the good ones are taken!” Also, know the longevity of any relationship is impossible to predict. Yet, never give up on your communication skills, personal goals, and who you are! Your future self will thank you.
