You will be happy to know that there are amazing humans out there. Some like Robert Carter in Hamilton County, Ohio. Mr. Carter recently adopted five siblings so they will not be separated from each other. That is some uplifting news, right?
Single Mom vs Single Dad
You will be surprised to know that there were 2 million single dads in the US. according to the census in 2016. These were either divorced, never been married, widowed, and separated men. True, the number is not as big as single mothers‘ households (8.5 million) but has significantly increased in the last decades. (1)
While many parents will agree that running a family is hard enough as a couple and must be harder as a single parent. Many will expect that a single mom would do a much better job than a single dad. There are still a lot of preconceived notions around single moms and single dads.
It’s believed that men are not “good at” or “made for” childcare. This idea has been perpetuated in society for a long time. Sure you remember seeing in movies or TV the clumsy dad cliche. Not capable of dressing the kids to go to school or setting the kitchen on fire.
Nowadays, single dads receive much praise for taking the “weight of a household” on their own. Because of the belief, they are doing something extraordinary, they are “not supposed to be good for”. Whereas single moms are watched closely and often judge hardly for any slips in the motherhoods duties.
Adoption in the US
Every year 135,000 children are adopted in the US. and 428,000 children are in foster care. (2)
Since adoption laws were in place in the mid-nineteenth century single individuals were legally qualified to adopt children. This was at least in theory.
In practice, many agency workers wanted to place children in “normal homes”. The idea of a normal home back then was a household constituted by heterosexual, married couples, with a bread-winner father and a non-working mother.
Single individuals did not meet these “normality” standards and were seen as undesirables. If they wanted children, why not marry? Or Who was watching over a kid of a single-working-mother?.
It was only after 1960 that single parents were actively taken into account for the adoption of children.
Though adoption has evolved, there is still a lot of cultural stigma around the capability of single parents due to race, gender, and economic situation.
Single Dad Sets A Great Example
Mr. Carter’s loving act of becoming a single dad adopting five children is not only admirable but it sets a good example for others. He understood these children’s unbreakable bond better than anyone.
Robert Carter was in the foster care system in his youth. He experienced the painful separation from his younger siblings. However, when he was old enough to leave the foster system he became the legal guardian of his younger brother. And was also granted the custody of his younger sister. Later on, he enrolled as a volunteer mentor at South Avondale Elementary. (3)
Rober Carter thinks that taking care of his siblings and mentoring prepared him to be the single dad adopting these five children. Mr. Carter believes in “Making memories to replace a lot of the bad ones.” I believe that those children are happy together now.
