Science Proves That Negativity Is Toxic (and How to Boost Positivity)

Negativity is toxic. We hear it all the time; maybe to the point where we start to hear “yada, yada, yada.” But did you know about toxic positivity? We all know that person. The constant smiler. The one quick to tell us to “buck up” and stay positive. The person who just won’t acknowledge while the world can be beautiful, it also has its fair share of dark. While this person can be uplifting to some, they can be downright nauseating to others. I’m a believer in balance in all things. We can’t feel positive if we’ve never experienced negative feelings. But more importantly, if we don’t have the insight and sensitivity to acknowledge true depression despite its negativity, we can’t help loved ones who feel desperate and hopeless. And that’s the rub. Here’s why I believe too much negative or positive are equally dangerous. (1, 2)

Toxic Negativity Versus Toxic Positivity

While toxic negativity can: (1)

Destroy mental health

Make you physically ill
Bring the mood down for everyone

Toxic positivity can: (2)

Suppress needed emotions that build up to dangerous proportions
Create insincere “fair-weather friends” who can’t be there to support you when you are blue
Promote passive-aggressive behavior in those suppressing their true feelings when they experience anger, sadness, disappointment, etc.

Actually make you feel sadder
Make toxic positive people appear insensitive

So, while that positivity idea seems it should outweigh negativity, when positivity reaches toxic levels it proves very unhealthy for those around you.

Toxic Positivity Worse Than Toxic Negativity?

One of the interesting things about toxic positivity: People don’t recognize it. Many think of such a thing as invisible, as people don’t even know it exists. However, according to a study about toxic positivity, once people get what it means, 67.8% confess they experienced it in the past week. (2)

Toxic positivity lacks sincere happiness. It forces people to present a fake smile and positive input ad nauseum like “Cheer up, things aren’t so bad!” But the question is, who can say such a thing to someone clearly feeling down? What if something really bad happened? That toxic positivity leads to breakdowns in relationships, both professional and personal. (2)

Positive Versus Negative Views

According to research, happy people see the big picture, while sad or neutral people focus on small details. This creates an unhappy state. As a result, when feeling down, one can see what causes the issue allowing them to rid themselves of the burden. So how can you embrace the best of both worlds? Listen to yourself and do your best to be better. (2)

Embrace Positivity, Support Negativity

To be a better friend, be ready to support the negative moments in those you love. You become more supportive by replacing toxic positive statements, with non-toxic negative supporting questions like this: (2)

“It’ll all be fine” becomes a question: “How can I help you?”
Instead of saying “You should smile more” ask “Is everything okay?”

Avoid blanket statements like “Don’t worry about it” and instead offer to help make things less stressful.
Although you might want to say, “It could be worse” right at that moment the person needs affirmation and support with “This is tough, can I do anything to help?”
“Don’t be so negative,” should become “It must be hard. Tell me about it.”

“Always look on the bright side!” is almost condescending and rude when someone is suffering from sadness. Your reaction might be “It’s so hard to see the good in this situation, but we’ll make sense of it when we can.”
While I do believe “Everything happens for a reason,” I still feel it’s important to acknowledge the difficulty and ask how I can help.
“Think happy thoughts!” is perhaps the most offensive as most people would if they could. Instead acknowledge sad feelings, while letting the person know you are ALWAYS there for them.