If you cry during movies, we have good news for you: You are strong and wise, and if more people were like you, tragedies would be prevented.
It is time to dismantle the myth that crying represents weakness.
It is time to smash the stereotype that emotionality equals fragility.
This is a new era; one in which fathers are actively involved in childrearing, women own massive companies, and the children we raise – no matter their gender – know they can be brilliant, bold, and compassionate.
Why People Cry During Movies
Have you ever caught yourself tearing up at the most non-discriminate moment in a movie? Do you feel like that’s a sign of weakness? Do you get embarrassed when you start sniffling, while your counterpart appears just fine?
We cry when a character dies, an on-screen animal suffers, a painful time in history is brought to life through the screen, because we feel empathy. Empathy is a powerful, important human emotion that should be celebrated and flaunted, not hidden away underneath blankets and tissues.
The Gift of Empathy
At its core, empathy is the ability to relate to someone else’s feelings. It is an expression of compassion.
If a tough soldier helps win a battle, he is celebrated for his strength. But what if that battle or the whole war were prevented altogether and thousands of lives were therefore saved? Wouldn’t the cause of that deterrence also be a sign of tremendous strength?
For just a moment, reflect on the worst human-made times in history: the Inquisition and “witch trials,” the Holocaust, slave trades, the Mongolian conquest, the Rwandan genocide of 1994. And for one more moment, think of modern-day calamities like the Syrian Civil War, child abuse, and mass shootings.
Now, imagine there was a magic potion that could stop that violence, that worst of humanity.
Well, there is a “magic potion,” only it’s not magic at all because it’s already within you and me; it’s called empathy.
If humans felt more empathy and compassion, they would feel less separate, less superior, and less violent. If humans felt more empathy and compassion, they would feel more connected, more equal, and more caring. On a more personal level, when we feel more empathy, we have better relationships and experience greater inner peace.
How to Become More Empathetic
If you do cry during movies, you’re probably extremely empathetic, so much so that your subconscious even has empathy for suffering that is only imaginary.
If you don’t cry during movies, or you feel little empathy towards others, try these simple tactics:
- Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. If your friend’s cat died, imagine how you would feel if someone you loved passed away. If your neighbor totaled his car, imagine how you would feel if you were in an accident and lost your car. If someone you know is struggling with addiction, think about how hard it would be to live without sugar, coffee, or whatever it is you crave every day.
- Replace judgment with understanding. If you are tempted to judge the person who wears putrid perfume, speeds past you on the highway, is perpetually late, or has a habit you don’t agree with, rather than jump to judgment, spend a moment reflecting on why they might make that choice. You don’t have to like their decisions, but considering why people do what they do can strengthen our empathy muscle.
- Stop talking so much, and just silently listen. Next time you have a conversation, do nothing but listen. Resist the urge to immediately follow their story with your own. Try not to interrupt them. Make a point of staying quiet longer than you’re used to. Listening helps us create space to feel what others are feeling.
Empathy is a Sign of Strength
Empathy requires the ability to see through others’ eyes. Demonstrating empathy requires courage. This is a gift, a skill to be honored and enjoyed, honed and mastered.
If everyone felt empathy and societies valued compassion, many human-made tragedies would be averted, lives would be saved, and life would be better – for everyone.
