As a parent, I know how easy it is to get caught up in a child’s grades and school performance. However, living a happy and productive life is far more dependent on the “soft skills” we teach our children according to one 2015 study. (1)

This study showed that the social skills observed in kids in kindergarten could still be tied to well-being at age 25. When you build social skills for children, you can foster social competencies that can keep them happier in adulthood. (1, 2)

Social And Emotional Development

There are three elements to social and emotional development:

1. Social Interaction: The relationships shared with others help children develop socially. This teaches them many skills including taking turns, helping their friends, playing together, and cooperation.
2. Emotional Awareness: The ability to recognize and understand their own feelings and actions and how they relate to the feelings and actions of those around them. We often call this emotional intelligence.
3. Self-Regulation: The ability to express thoughts, feelings, and behaviors appropriately allows children to persist when faced with challenges. This builds resilience. (2)

Setting realistic expectations based on the age of your children will allow them to build age-appropriate social skills. As a result, they will enjoy greater success. (2)

Playing Well With Others

All children play. However, how children play sets the stage for many skills including negotiating, problem-solving, sharing and experimenting. Therefore, freely playing with other children is important in helping children build many social skills. (2)

When children play they practice interacting with other children to learn how to take turns, play together, and enjoy a conversation. (2)

Problem Solving

Children can learn problem-solving when given the chance to practice. When children have difficult interactions, it provides a learning opportunity. Role-playing is also a positive way to teach children to problem-solve. (3)

According to a 2010 study, researchers found kids lacking problem-solving skills could be at higher risk for depression and suicidality. However, when kids are taught problem-solving skills it can improve mental health. (3)

Self-Management

Children can be taught to be more self-aware from birth. It begins with a positive response to their cries and continues with ongoing attention, patience, and face-to-face time. As your child reaches their toddler years, you can teach them to identify their emotions so they can learn to manage their feelings. Consequently, this also helps them identify emotions in others. Children can, therefore, use their emotions to navigate social situations without becoming caught up in them. (4) Self-management skills will control their behavior and teach them not to allow their emotions to take over. (4)

Teach Kindness

Teaching children kindness and compassion helps them develop morals. According to Richard Weissbourd, a Harvard psychologist with the graduate school of education, parents should focus on “making caring common.” He lists five strategies to raise moral, caring children: (5)

1. Make caring for others a priority
2. Provide opportunities for children to practice caring and gratitude.
3. Expand your child’s circle of concern.
4. Be a strong moral role model and mentor.
5. Guide children in managing destructive feelings (6)

When you build social skills for children, they become more resilient, kinder, and better able to react with emotional intelligence.