I have a daughter about to turn 20. If there’s one thing I have learned as a mother, it’s that my children provide just as much insight into living well to me as I can provide to them. To me, this is one of the most important lessons a mother can learn. When you know this, you acknowledge your own weaknesses and try to overcome them. Perhaps even more enlightened, is the mom who not only tries to overcome her weaknesses but also makes every effort not to pass those weaknesses onto her daughter. And that, my friends, is a real challenge. Here is why I think strong mothers raise strong daughters, but also why I think weaknesses can help mold a better version of you. (1)

Strong Mothers Build Confidence

I have a friend who appreciated a secret I shared: I am the most insecure confident person you’ll ever meet. She found this hilarious. The thing is, it’s true. Confidence is a challenge even for those of us who have it. Because there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Confidence allows you to be independent and less afraid to pursue the things you want in life. Arrogance allows you to do those things at the cost of others, in my opinion. I have tried to teach my daughter she is wonderful, without instilling in her a belief she is better than anyone else. As a result, she embraces her differences, builds on her strengths, and remains humble enough to have some self-doubt to keep her honest and be a better decision-maker. (1)

Strong Mothers Develop A Voice

Our differences are what make us individuals. I raised my daughter to be an individual who speaks her mind, sticks up for herself, and is never afraid to ask questions. However, I also taught her not to be hurtful in her opinions or fail to hear the voices of others. Because a voice that is too loud, never learns.

Strong Mothers Teach Self Love

This gets back to confidence. To believe in ourselves we really have to like ourselves. That face you look at in the mirror every day deserves respect and that respect begins with you. But here’s the rub: Self-love ain’t easy. It walks that fine line between self-respect and conceit. So I wanted my daughter to see she is beautiful inside and out. She’s lived her life without the need to post ridiculously seductive, sexual images of herself on social media. Instead, she feels comfortable in her own skin, tries to present herself using her own fashion sense, and never comes across as a vacant person who is no deeper than her skin.

Strong Mothers Acknowledge Emotions

This is a work in progress for both of us. I can be an emotional basket case. Because of this, I make a point to help my daughter avoid getting too emotional. Instead, I want her to recognize her emotions and manage them with finesse. I have taught her to let people know they have hurt her, but she has trouble doing this. I urged her to let people know they are loved, yet she has trouble uttering these words. I want her to be kinder and more tolerant, and here I have succeeded. She is also more tolerant than me because she’s grown up in a world where intolerance kills. This has helped me be more tolerant.

The bottom line is that strong mothers raise strong daughters, but women with weaknesses also have the incentive to raise daughters stronger than themselves. Our goal should always be to elevate our children in mind, body, and spirit. This is how we make a better world.