“I’m just enjoying life.” That’s the answer many single people gave when asked by researchers in a 2019 study, whether they are looking for a relationship. As it turns out, a good number of single people are not interested in pursuing a relationship right now, let alone even a measly date. What’s going on here?
Single Women Are Even Less Interested
The average is 50 percent, but if you break it down by gender, the data from the survey becomes even more interesting. Just 63 percent of men said they are actively seeking a date or a relationship right now, but only 38 percent of women gave the same answer. In some really great news for every single person out there (regardless of gender), across the board, folks are reporting much less pressure from their families and friends to couple up. There was a time in the recent past when we would almost expect the “when are you going to settle down” talk from mom and dad, but perhaps that mentality has gone the way of the dodo. (1)
Mental Blanketing Seems To Have No Effect On Singles
Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., coined the term “mental blanketing”, a way to describe the inundation of single people on social media and in advertising. The concept of mental blanketing is that it tends to envelop us in this rosy idea that married life is total bliss… home-cooked casseroles, Pictionary with friends, and all the sweet loving you can stand. But it looks as if, and the Pew data supports it, single people just aren’t falling for the mental blanketing. As Dr. DePaulo wrote in an August 2020 edition of Psychology Today, especially as people get older “Even those who are feeling it are not letting it get to them. They are no more likely to be looking for a romantic relationship than people who are not feeling the pressure.” (2)
Singles Gonna Single
This new research blows apart the longstanding myth that all single folks desire in life is to find a partner. This was a random, national study conducted with over 5,000 American adults. The results may be surprising at first blush but as Dr. DePaulo points out, “just about every time the Census Bureau releases its latest figures, we learn that there are even more single people than there were the year before. A previous Pew report made the remarkable prediction that by the time today’s young adults reach the age of 50, about one in four of them will have been single their entire lives. That’s a cohort of 50-year-olds in which 25 percent have never been married.” (2)
As a happily-single 40-something female myself, this study resonated with me on a personal level. As I read through the data I realized I am likely to be among that cohort of 50-year-olds… that time is fast approaching. As they say, “time flies when you’re having fun”. Another popular answer that singles give as to why they are not looking for a relationship, is that they just have more important priorities right now. That answer hits home for me, definitely. I’m busy building my business, and the life of my dreams, and I’m having a fabulous time doing it, on my own terms.
Marriage is great for a lot of people. Of this, I am 100% sure.
But singles know a thing or two about living well too, and when life feels so focused and balanced, why rush to change it?
