Emotional healing comes in many forms because emotional pain, distress, loss, or grief occurs in many forms. Many people keep their healing process private as well as the wound that sparked the need to heal in the first place. This could be because of societal expectations to maintain a cheery and pleasant exterior, especially with strangers. Or it may be their personal way of healing from emotional wounds. One type of pain, loss, and inevitable grief that can be misunderstood is the loss of a pet. Those who have never had pets, or do not relate to pets as part of their family may not understand the extreme grief that can come from losing a furry best friend. It is never productive or possible to quantify or rank emotional loss, and losing a pet can cause the same level of pain, suffering, and grieving as any other extreme catastrophe.

Healing From The Loss Of A Pet

The day you bring your new puppy or kitten home for the first time is so exciting. There are emotions around getting to know them, protecting them and bonding with them. Your new fur baby becomes essentially a member of your family. Depending on the breed and the specifics of your pet’s life, you could be a pet parent for almost a decade and a half. No matter how much time you have with them, when it comes time to say the final farewell, it is never easy. The emotional healing process for every pet parent is different. Here are seven self-care strategies for supporting yourself after the loss of a pet.

1. Allow Yourself Time To Grieve

Everyone’s grief process is unique. There is no standard way or amount of time that anyone will grieve their pet. This is completely personal. The grief process can last from weeks to years depending on the person. When you are experiencing grief, you might feel angry since life hasn’t slowed down on the outside to match the painful feelings you have on the inside.

Grieving takes time to fully experience all of the emotions. It is important you give yourself time to feel the emotions and allow yourself to release them at regular intervals rather than stuffing them down, which can create more pain. (1)

2. Take Time To Reflect

Reflecting on your time with your pet may be difficult at first. When your loss is new, it can be difficult to talk about the wonderful times you had with your pet because you miss them. As time goes on and you process through your grief, reflection does become easier for the pet parent. Many pet parents chose to create memory books or journals to hold all the special times they shared with their fur baby. (2)

3. Self-Care Is A Priority

This is not about massages and manicures, rather your basic self-care. When we are in mourning one of the first things that can fall by the wayside is often the basics of self-care. This can be in the form of poor nutrition or hydration and getting enough sleep. Make sure that you remember to make yourself a priority during this time as you grieve your fur baby. If friends and family offer to bring you food, be gracious and accept it. They want to support your emotional healing during this difficult time in your life. (3)

4. Give Meditation A Try

Meditation may sound completely intimidating to you right now if you have never tried it. The thought of sitting like a pretzel and singing “OHM” may not sound healing for you. Luckily, this idea is more of a caricature of meditation rather than the actual practice. All you need to do is sit quietly and focus on your breathing. Meditation has been shown to support with grief and sadness experienced around loss. Meditation doesn’t necessarily have to be practiced sitting quietly either. You can go for a walk or listen to a guided meditation for example. Fifteen minutes a day for someone new to meditation is a great way to get started. (4)

5. Maintain Your Daily Routine

When your fur baby has been part of your daily routine, it is often difficult to maintain that routine. You may find yourself overcome by emotions pertaining to loss at first because of the things you associate doing with your absent pet. Allow yourself to fully experience those emotions – it’s part of your grieving process. It will get easier. Then when you’re ready, it’s important to create new daily routines for yourself.

6. Remembering Your Pet   

Everyone chooses to remember their pet differently as part of their emotional healing. Some people prefer to have their pet’s ashes or a ceramic paw print, and others don’t. Do whatever feels right for you. Though this is a personal decision, it’s also something your veterinarian can help you decide. If you know ahead of time that this decision is coming, it may be a conversation you want to have prior to the actual time.

7. Accepting Love and Support

Whenever someone loses a pet, there is usually an outpouring of love and support from family and friends. During the early stages immediately after it occurs you may not feel up to visits and phone calls from people. This is perfectly normal. However, if you are finding that as time goes by, and you are still not bouncing back from the grief, reach out. Many people will be eager to support you if you express the need. This is not the time to hide and tough it out on your own. (5)

Conclusion

When someone who has never owned a dog or a cat sees their cat or dog-owning friends in deep grief over the loss of their pet, they may think it’s a bit of an overreaction. After all, for someone who hasn’t loved a dog for 15 years of their life, they can’t understand the bond that is created and may think, “it’s just a dog”. For those of us who have loved dogs like they are part of our family, we know the truth. Your pet is not ‘just a dog’…he’s family.