When I was 21, I ended a serious relationship. I’d been living with my partner in a small apartment in my university town. Sure, I still had friends–but most of my friends were living with each other. I’d chosen not to room with them in favor of renting my first “adult” apartment. Now, I was regretting that. 

Being Alone Is Healing

Maybe a lot of 20-somethings can understand the kind of friends I had at that time. They were–and are–wonderful people, and many of them I am in touch with to this day. But they were also people who didn’t like to do things. Most of our time spent together involved watching movies, browsing Tumblr, or listening to music. 

In my relationship, my partner had wanted to do a lot of those same things–and he needed me to do those things with him. So, now that I was freshly single and taking time to rediscover myself, I wanted to break out of the indoor routine. 

Travel

I lived in a university town, which meant I had a pretty decent transit system. (Note: people who live in my town will never admit the transit system is anything but the worst transit system in the world. But that’s another lesson: don’t let other people’s negativity stop you from trying new things!) 

So, in order to get out of the house, I’d just pick a bus and ride it as far as it would go. And that led to some really cool experiences. I found cute stores, adorable cafes, and charming nature trails. 

Some of those things I tried by myself, but if you’re just starting to learn to love being alone, maybe just make note of these places and come back with your friends! How cool would it be to be the one to show your best friend her new favorite restaurant or tattoo parlor?

Hobbies

The next summer, I moved in with my friend, but pretty soon into the summer, she got a job in her hometown and moved back. Now, besides work, I was alone in an empty apartment. All of my other friends had already gone back to their hometowns--so I was more alone than I’d ever been. I’d found a job in my university town too, so I couldn’t leave either. I had no idea what I was going to do. 

But one day, I went to my big chain bookstore and saw a knitting book. “I’d like to make some of these things,” I thought. I was going to put it back when I was struck with a thought: why can’t I make those things? 

Loneliness Leads To New Opportunities

I didn’t know how to knit, but this book had instructions right in the front. So I bought it.

The next day, I went to a local yarn store and asked for help. Because it was a local place, they were really friendly and knowledgeable. Not only did I have the information I need, but going alone and asking for help got me invited to a knitting group once a month.

My first project turned out terribly. But, four years later, I still knit, and it’s one of my favorite things to do! Learning something new, no matter what it is, can be such a huge benefit to your life. And having a new skill only makes you more well-rounded and able to attract people into your life.