A common belief among many of the world’s societies is that children create happiness in the lives of their parents. People with children are believed to have a more fulfilling, meaningful, and rewarding life due to parenthood. While childless people are thought to be lonelier, emptier, and filled with regrets. Yet, there is hundreds of academic studies that suggest this belief is in fact wrong. Choosing not to have children comes with many unseen benefits, and offers new possibilities for happiness.
The Pursuit of Happiness
Happiness is an ever-elusive concept and has many different meanings. Despite this subjectivity, there are some components that commonly contribute to or take away happiness among nearly all people. Positive experiences, financial gain, good health, and positive social relationships add to a person’s happiness. Negative experiences, stress, financial troubles, and social burdens, in opposition, diminish a person’s perception of happiness.
Survey Says?
Global data published in 2011 from the World Values Survey, representing 97 countries and 90% of the world’s population, is a prominent example of the difference in happiness between people with and without children. Contrary to popular belief, people surveyed without children were found to be consistently happier and have greater life satisfaction than people with children. Though the size of this difference was not substantially large, the effect was found across many varying cultures and geographic locations.
The unhappiest parents surveyed included those under 40 years of age and women. Researchers believe this effect is seen due to the huge sacrifices and extraordinary work it takes to raise young children.
Happiness Is…
So why are all these childless people happy? Aren’t they sad about being alone? Sure, some people who are childless can feel initial sadness at the prospect of not having children, but these emotions tend to fade over time. As child-free people begin to adopt their choice to not have children, they grow into other satisfying relationships and take on new roles. For example, childless people tend to be closer to their parents, provide more support in their marriages, and have more active ties with extended family (cousins, aunts, etc.). Owning pets, larger career aspirations, and better social networks are also all sources of happiness for people without children.
However, a few researchers speculate that childless people may not be doing anything truly special to be more happy, but rather more people are falsely disillusioned by parenthood. With a strong social narrative and pop culture bias towards the family unit, some people may be feeling deceived and surprised once they begin raising a child.
After reading the research on this topic, I have come to the conclusion that having children is not truly a bad thing, but rather a large endeavor. Entering parenthood is not a decision that should be made lightly, and each stage of childrearing should be taken into consideration when deciding if having a child is right for you. Children undeniably provide meaning to parent’s lives, but should not be automatically considered a source of happiness. Talk candidly with your friends and families about parenting – get their point of view. And most importantly, know yourself and what is important to you! For some, raising children is the joy of their life.
