The winter of 2020 will be one for the history books, as we watch COVID-19 become a global pandemic. The scariness of it has everything to do with the unknown. We are totally unfamiliar with this virus, testing for it is in short supply, and many of us just haven’t experienced anything like this in our lifetime.
We’ve been going through our days, following our routines. Interacting with the same few people, in our own little world. It’s not that we are unaware of our interconnectedness, it’s just that the concept is somewhat abstract. We don’t think of how events in China have a downstream effect on the rest of the world. But indeed we are all on this big rock together, and when that reality hits home, it can be really scary. Suddenly we see how easily toppled we are. How in the dark… how much there is to know, that we simply don’t. It’s a helpless feeling, and when that feeling intensifies, we shop. We buy toilet paper, and man do we buy a lot of it.
But that’s a silly thing to spend your money on, and waste storage space on. Truth be told, you don’t even really need TP. There are civilized alternatives to toilet paper, many of which are in use all over the world.
Toilet Paper Is Uber American
If you have never left the States, it’s probably an extremely odd thing to bend your mind around: cleaning yourself without TP. It’s all you’ve ever been exposed to, and frankly the less you have to think about it the better, thank you very much. The quicker we can “do our business”, and the less evidence we leave behind, the better.
But it’s not like that in a lot of other parts of the world, where they handle their #2s in other ways… some might say better ways. Certainly more sustainable, and cleaner too. Think about it… if you had feces on your hand, would you just wipe it off with a paper towel? No, you’d scrub with soap and hot water! While you don’t need to go to that extent with your bum, might it be a nice idea to go one step further? Yes, it might.
Blast That Booty
It makes a ton of sense to use something wet to ensure cleanliness in your own backyard. That’s why in most of Europe they use bidets, and in Thailand, they use what they affectionately refer to as the “bum gun”. A bidet is a bit of a commitment; it’s like a second toilet in your restroom. You do your business on one, and then waddle over to the other for freshening up. The bum gun is a little more compact and sporty, like a shower head attached to your toilet’s freshwater supply. Just aim and shoot. Both of these methods leave you way cleaner than toilet paper does, saving the environment and your good hygiene at all once. (1)
Cloth: The Anti-Toilet Paper
Now, hear me out. Cloth diapers have been a thing since the beginning of time. Wet wipes have become pretty mainstream in recent years. The idea of using (and later, reusing) a wet cloth to clean yourself might feel pretty cringe-worthy at first, but let it sink in for a moment. Think of the environment, think of the good hygiene. Think of the babies. They’ve been doing it for ages.
Joking aside, this idea can really work for a lot of people. Use only one color for the bathroom business. Store the used cloths in an airtight container, and wash them in crazy-hot water every couple of days. (1) It might take a little getting used to, but most important changes do.
No matter your reasons for considering alternatives to toilet paper, it’s worth looking into. Any change you make will require some real effort at first. It’s tough to change such deeply ingrained behaviors, but you’ll find that your pocketbook, your hygiene, and the environment all benefit greatly from it!
