For many “mothers to be ” all over the world, the most memorable moment they will experience is the birth of their beloved child.
Giving birth to a new life is what a woman expects after her pregnancy months. She felt life growing inside her, heard another heartbeat in her, felt little kicks from tiny feet, and observed her body changing. All this prepares her for the day that she can finally hold her newly born in her arms. But sometimes this ideal picture-perfect instant does not happen.
The picture posted by Chrissy Teigen on her social media the night of Wednesday, September 30th, 2020, was not the one every mother or couple aims to be their first post after a pregnancy.
In that picture we can see a woman in pain, sitting on an edge of a hospital bed with wires in her arms, a disposable cap in her head, hands clutching under her chin. So much sorrow in her face. A picture of ultimate loss.
Chrissy Teigen
You have likely heard of Chrissy Teigen, she is married to the talented musician John Legend and a very popular social media celebrity/influencer that also had her share of a Twitter run-ins with Donald Trump.
You may be surprised to hear that she was already famous before marrying John Legend. When they met in 2009 because she appeared in the music video of his song Stereo, Teigen was more famous than the back then-newcomer Legend.
Like Kate Moss and Pamela Anderson, Chrissy Teigen is part of the list of celebrities discovered. She was working at a surf shop in Huntington Beach, California back in the early 2000s when a modeling scout took her picture, sent it to the modeling agency and she was accepted. After that, she appeared in every fashion magazine, including Sports Illustrated. She also participated in various television shows like The View and American Top Model, where she was one of the judges for four seasons.
Chrissy Teigen after marrying Legend and becoming a mother switched career paths and just like that became a best-selling cookbook author. She has a cookware line at Target as well, and for good measure, she became a celebrity lifestyle guru.
Teigen had also her fair share of political views broadcast on her social media outlets. Places that she openly called out to what she perceived as injustice. She is known for “say it like it is” in many situations, like the one of her latest miscarriage.
Miscarriage Rates And Stigmas
No pregnant woman wants to know about the possibilities of fetal death at the end of her pregnancy but the numbers are hard to ignore. Every year about 10-20% of all pregnancies under 20 weeks will end up in a miscarriage (also called early pregnancy loss), most of them happen before the 12th week of pregnancy. Also, some 1-5% of miscarriages happen from week 13 to 19. (1)
It may take a month or more for a woman’s body to recover from a miscarriage. But the emotional and psychological wound it can be lifelong. Miscarriage is still a taboo subject that is complex to talk about. Many women feel an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame. Even though no science can point out the specific reasons why miscarriage occurs. (2)
An Open Conversation
Singers like Lily Allen, Beyoncé, and Tori Amos wrote songs about their tragic losses. Mrs. Obama wrote, in her 2018 memoir Becoming: “What nobody tells you is that miscarriage happens all the time, to more women than you’d ever guess, given the relative silence around it.” (3)
All these women shared their individual experiences after some time. They had a bit of time and were able to process the trauma. While Chrissy Teigen shared her loss with her followers almost in real-time, giving no time to process. She showed us an array of raw emotions as they arose. She painted an honest, not so pretty picture for us to understand the pain she was going through.
More heartfelt open conversations are necessary about miscarriage. Not to scare future “mothers to be” but for them to be aware of the possibilities.
