Nothing about Burger King says good taste. It’s deep-fried, chemical laden meals offer little in terms of health, nutrition or wellbeing. It may well be the king of burgers, but it is a peasant when it comes to wellness. And so we’ve come to expect little out of them in the way of good news.
This time is no exception. In their latest bid to lure customers back to a diet of fat, salt and sugar, they’ve managed to outdo themselves in terms of poor taste. They’re taking a chicken named Gloria on a tour of America to decide which cities are going to be graced with Burger King chicken fries. Let me explain.
Oh Gloria: The Burger King Chicken That Never Asked For This
It’s so outrageous it’s almost difficult to wrap your mind around why anyone would ever do such a thing, but here’s the gist of it.
Burger King executives supposedly couldn’t decide whether or not to bring back their infamous chicken fries, which are just skinny deep-fried chicken strips, so they’ve deferred the decision to a chicken they’ve named Gloria.
Gloria is let out of a cage in front of media and hungry patrons and is presented with two bowls of chicken feed. One is labelled “Yes,” the other “No.” If she eats from the “Yes” bowl the city gets chicken fries and they start selling them immediately at that location. If she says “No,” they move on to the next lucky town.
To allow the locations to sell the fries immediately, Gloria is followed by a convoy of trucks full of the deep-fried treats.
Who Possibly Thought This Was A Good Idea?
Sadly, the stunt seems to have been successful. Town mayors are showing up, people on social media are going wild about getting a chance to indulge in their favourite snack, and they’re selling truckloads of chicken fries.
No one really seems to mind the fact that a chicken is being trucked around with a bunch of dead chickens and being forced to decide when and by whom her fallen brethren will be consumed. Most people seem to be Burger-King-Chicken-Fry blind, the cruelty either willfully ignored or lost on them entirely.
After all, it’s just a chicken, right? Wrong.
Gloria Is More King Than BK Will Ever Be
Somehow chickens have come to be associated with being cowardly and unintelligent, but that’s really just not true. On the contrary, chickens are one of the smarter creatures on earth. They are capable of communicating with one another, of remembering things, and of recognizing social structures.
In fact, some people would tell you that chickens are smarter than toddlers, capable of solving problems, doing math, and even empathizing with those in danger.
Gloria might not be aware of what’s going on, or that she is giving the okay for other chickens to be gobbled up by the hungry mob cheering her on, but she’s not just some dumb bird either. She deserves better, and so do we.
A change in the menu would be more welcome than a sad publicity stunt done in poor taste to promote an unhealthy item.
