What is a “beautiful life”? Maybe you think of a beautiful body, a beautiful house, or a beautiful car. Maybe you look at this idea–the beautiful life–and you think of all the ways your life isn’t what you want it to be. But think of your favorite person you know. Not a celebrity, or an Instagram model, but a person who is in the sphere of your life. What sort of things do you love about them? It’s probably not their clothes or their job. It’s their smile, their laugh, their love of Freddie Mercury puns. So, if you want a beautiful life, the answer isn’t to change the things that surround you, but to take a little time each day to make those small adjustments in your life. Here are seven things that will make such a huge difference.
1. Reframe Your Life
Dr. John Duffy is a clinical psychologist who’s written the book–literally–on optimism. He says the easiest way to change your life is through setting “the vibe you want to carry. [This] might be getting up earlier rather than sleeping in [or] reaching out to help someone instead of passively ignoring their need.” Psychotherapist Alison Thayer says to “ask yourself “Could things be worse?” or “Is there anything I can take out of this that can be a benefit to me?” More often than not, there is a positive aspect to things that happen, even those that feel negative.” (1)
2. Live In The Moment
Psychotherapist Joyce Marter says that focusing on the present will help you let go of excess negativity. “Honor the past, learn from it, accept it and let it go. Don’t obsess or worry about the future,” she says. “Life is more manageable when you are grounded in the present.” (1)
3. Find Meaning
Martin Seligman was the president of the American Psychological Association. But in 1998, he was frustrated by the focus of psychology as a crisis-avoidance model. So, he founded Positive Psychology, to show people how they could be “building the best things in life.”
One of his principals was to find meaning by devoting yourself to something which “puts life in perspective.” Whether it’s community service, activism, or any other thing, choose something larger than yourself. (2)
4. Forgive And Love Yourself
According to Real Life Counseling’s website, “self-compassion, research shows, is one of the most powerful sources of resilience, helping people overcome difficulties and thrive.” So take it easy on yourself and grow! (3)
5. Cultivate Positive Relationships
Another one of the principles of Positive Psychology is to build healthy relationships. According to Psychology Today, “good relationships are essential for wellbeing. Strong social connections are linked with good physical and mental health and are also protective against stressors.” And good health is an important part of a good life. (2)
6. Don’t Compare
At the start of this article, I told you to look at other people. But, it’s so important you don’t compare themselves to you. Real Life Counseling says that “we tend to compare someone’s best with our average, or even our worst moments. . . [But] we are all different, not only in our traits and abilities, but also in our history and life circumstances.” (3)
7. Don’t Aim Too High
Alison Thayer says that we should “ask yourself ‘Is this realistic and can I actually attain this goal?’ If the answer is no, consider breaking the goal down into intermediate steps or modifying it all together.” (1)
