Chances are, you learned how to write, do arithmetic, and tie a shoe, but not how to love yourself. Self-love is seldom taught in schools and rarely taught in homes, yet most people seem to know that it’s important. But why is self-love important, and can you learn how to love yourself even as an adult? Amazingly, self-love can start with a very simple gratitude practice that can make all the difference in your life.
Why Self-Love Matters
In 2017, a staggering 47,173 Americans died by suicide, making it the 10th leading cause of death that year. Depression and self-hate are among the leading causes of depression, self-harm, and suicide. Depression, a long-lasting “down” mood that impacts everyday life, affects 1 out of 6 adults in their lifetime. Therapy and certain medications can help treat depression, and counseling can help address low self-esteem. In addition to traditional treatments, however, studies reveal that a gratitude practice can reduce depressive symptoms, increase self-love, and boost happiness. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
How To Practice Self-Love
Self-love means having care and compassion for yourself. When a person feels self-love, they are less likely to feel depression and anxiety. A person who has high self-esteem is also more productive in society. Practicing self-love includes taking care of our hygiene, eating well, exercising, and being aware of any negative self-talk. It also goes beyond these basics, however. You can also practice self-love by saying ‘no’ to projects or favors that could drain your energy or cause burnout. A very simple and effective way to start practicing self-love today is by starting a gratitude practice. (3, 6)
How To Practice Gratitude
You can practice gratitude in a variety of ways. Here are some ideas to help you start implementing a gratitude practice today:
- When you wake up, immediately think of three things for which you are thankful. They can be as simple as the sunshine filtering through the window or the blanket that covers you.
- Buy a notebook (a cheap one is fine) and make a point of listing people/animals, objects, and events for which you are grateful.
- When you feel yourself about to complain, pause and notice what’s good instead of what’s wrong.
- Say thank you any time a person shows kindness.
- Make positive posts on social media, instead of negative or complaining posts.
- When you face a challenge or problem, instead of dwelling on anger or annoyance, contemplate the lessons you can learn from it.
- Volunteer with those who have more needs than you.
- Hang pictures in your home or office of things and people you’re grateful for.
- When you complete a project or goal, acknowledge it and reward yourself with positive self-talk.
- Make a list of the traits you appreciate about yourself.
- Tell someone else what you appreciate about them.
- Put energy into nurturing healthy relationships rather than toxic ones.
- Compliment other people more.
- Send Metta, or loving-kindness, to people you don’t know or to those you don’t like.
- When you have a good day, notice it and write about it.
30 Benefits of Self-Love
Once you start practicing self-love and gratitude, you may just notice the following amazing changes:
- Stronger self-esteem
- Less depression
- A stronger immune system
- Less anxiety
- Lower risk for heart disease
- More feelings of peace and joy
- Feelings of increased abundance
- More internal growth (from seeing problems as teachers)
- Increased self-confidence
- More energy
- Less stress
- Healthier relationships
- Less loneliness
- More present-moment mindfulness
- Increased awareness of the good in others
- Improved caretaking abilities
- Increased resilience when faced with problems
- Feeling empowered about our present and future
- A deeper connection to oneself
- Notice more positive feelings
- Ability to master new skills
- Better decision-making
- More assertiveness in everyday choices
- Less critical of self
- Become more creative
- Less critical of others
- Willingness to take on new hobbies
- Less worrying about what others think
- Positively influence others
- Increased overall happiness (3, 6, 7, 8)
Loving Yourself Is An Act Of Giving
Practicing self-love means putting your own needs ahead of others’. Although this might feel selfish and “wrong,” practicing self-care is a necessary step in being highly productive in the world. When you show yourself love before doing anything else, you are actually helping others because it leads to a better you. When you love yourself, you handle stress better, form healthier relationships, feel more joyful, and so much more. And when you’re happier, healthier, and more relaxed, you have more to give the world. (7, 8)
