What Is Emotional Numbness?
Feeling emotionally numb is something that most people will experience at one point or another. It might be temporary, perhaps in response to an event like the death of a loved one. But for some people, emotional numbness becomes a long-term state.
Emotional numbing happens when a person mentally and emotionally shuts out feelings. This is often protective to avoid feeling further physical or emotional pain when they are overwhelmed or feeling helpless. This can happen in response to grief, PTSD, overwhelming stress, depression, substance abuse, or physical, mental, or emotional abuse. (1)
But experiencing and processing emotions is an important part of life. And there can be long-term consequences from responding to negative emotions with numbness. If someone you love is emotionally numb, it’s important to know the signs so they can get help with processing.
16 Things Someone Might Do Because They’re Emotionally Numb
1. Isolate
People experiencing emotional numbness often self-isolate. They avoid seeing the people they love because it’s too difficult to engage in conversations and social activities. (1)
2. Reactions Seem “Off”
Their reactions might not seem normal because they aren’t accessing their full range of emotions. So if you share either happy or sad news, their response may seem forced, delayed, or weak.
3. Have a Hard Time Processing What’s Happening Around Them
When someone detaches from their emotions, they may also stop processing what is happening around them. It might seem like they’re “lost in their own world” or even just grumpy.
4. Don’t Experience Positive Feelings, Like Happiness
Although the goal of emotional numbing is to block out negative feelings, it usually results in blocking out all feelings, including positive ones.
5. Consistently Forgetful
Your loved one might seem extra forgetful if they’re emotionally numb. This is because they’re not fully processing their interactions. So they might not remember that they’ve agreed to do something, or they might have to ask you to repeat something because they were spaced out the first time.
6. Self-Medicate
When emotional numbing becomes difficult, people who are hurting might turn to substances like drugs and alcohol to help them detach from difficult feelings.
7. Don’t Want to Date or Experience Intimacy
Both dating and intimacy involve a lot of emotions, usually ones shared with others. So someone who is emotionally numb won’t be open to dating or intimacy because those feelings may seem like too much.
8. Stop Doing the Things They Love
Since they aren’t experiencing emotions anymore, they won’t find joy in the things they previously loved to do. You’ll probably notice that they have stopped participating in the hobbies and interests that they used to enjoy.
9. Going Through the Motions
People who are emotionally numb are often just trying to get through the day. You might notice that they’re on autopilot, not engaging with anyone or doing any more than is absolutely necessary.
10. Sleeping a Lot
Intense fatigue and sleeping a lot are both common symptoms of depression, which is one cause of emotional numbness. A person who is emotionally numb might start sleeping a lot because they’re depressed or because they’re exhausted by the effort it takes to get through the day. (2)
11. Not Sleeping Enough
On the other hand, people with emotional numbness might have trouble getting to sleep, or they may wake up during the night. This could be due to dealing with PTSD, depression, anxiety, or other trauma. (1)
12. Avoid People They Love
The people who love us the most are the ones who are most likely to notice when something is wrong or “off”. Since emotional numbing is a coping strategy, someone who is using it may not want to give it up. Avoiding people they love keeps them from noticing and urging them to get help.
13. Take Risks
They might want to feel something but not know how. So they may take physical or emotional risks in order to feel anything, even if it’s coming from adrenaline.
14. Don’t Talk About the Future
They might struggle to get excited about the future or make plans for it. It might be because they are struggling to tap into their ambition. Or they might not feel like they even have a future, and they’re just trying to get through today. (3)
15. Feel Invisible
Someone who’s emotionally numb can be in the same room as their friends and family but feel as if they’re not there. This can make them feel invisible and like the world is going on without them. (3)
16. Zone Out
In a group conversation, they might zone out and not interact with anyone around them.
If you think someone you love might be emotionally numb, reach out to them. Let them know that they have a support system, and offer to help them find a psychiatrist or therapist. While it might feel overwhelming at first, they can heal from whatever is making them emotionally numb so they can experience life fully again. (1)
