Mentally strong parents manage to regulate their emotions and remain mindful of their thoughts. Although this is easier said than done, if you can master this approach to parenting you can avoid passing your own bad habits onto your children. (1)
According to Psychotherapist Amy Morin, there are 13 things mentally strong parents don’t do. (1)
1. Condoning a Victim Mentality
Help your child realize things like rejection and failure are everyday occurrences. By focusing on how to take positive action instead of feeling sorry for themselves they’ll avoid playing the victim. (1)
2. Parenting Out of Guilt
When parents give into guilt, they give themselves permission to take the easier route. Often making the right decision leads to guilt. Let your kids see it’s okay to feel guilty and they’ll learn to make better decisions. (1)
3. Making Their Kids the Center of the Universe
Don’t let your kids feel they are entitled to anything. Teach them they have to offer something to the world, instead of thinking they are owed something. (1)
4. Allowing Fear to Dictate Their Choices
Courage allows people to do things they are uncomfortable doing. Avoid instilling fear into kids and they will be better prepared to make more fulfilling choices. (1)
5. Giving Their Kids Power Over Them
Giving your child everything they want at the expense of yourself and others teaches them they are in charge. It also takes away their opportunity to learn life lessons such as how to take orders and knowing they can’t always get what they want. (1)
6. Expecting Perfection
Encouraging success is good but expecting your child to be perfect is not. Kids need to know they don’t have to be perfect. Instead, they should learn how to strive to do their best. They become the best person possible without feeling they have to measure up to others all the time. (1)
7. Letting Their Kids Avoid Responsibility
Kids need to contribute. This teaches them responsibility. When you do everything for them, they don’t learn the importance of being a responsible citizen. (1)
8. Shielding Their Kids From Pain
When your child hurts you hurt. Unfortunately, it’s part of life. However, learning to weather the pain makes them mentally strong. They need your support and guidance to learn how to handle pain, not your protection from experiencing it. (1)
9. Feeling Responsible For Their Kids’ Emotions
Teaching your kids how to manage their emotions allows them to be independent. It shows them they can make themselves better and cope when they are angry, sad, or anxious. (1)
10. Preventing Their Kids From Making Mistakes
Kids need to make mistakes so they can learn how to correct them. They also learn from their mistakes when they are faced with the consequences of their actions. (1)
11. Confusing Discipline With Punishment
Instead of focusing on punishment so your kids fear your wrath, focus on how to discipline them so they want to behave well. A child who is afraid is not as strong as a child who learns how to make the right choices. (1)
12. Taking Shortcuts to Avoid Discomfort
Giving into a child teaches them bad habits. Stick to your guns and teach them no is no. It might be easier for you to avoid their tantrums, but you want to teach them tantrums don’t work. This teaches perseverance. (1)
13. Losing Sight of Their Values
Make sure you pass the things you value the most in life onto your kids. This helps them build their own values and live life with meaning. (1)
Having raised two kids myself, I can attest to the fact that avoiding these ‘don’ts’ worked for me. However, I also feel mentally strong parents need to use parental instinct and knowledge of our children in order to raise mentally strong kids.
